Give me a reason..
Just got back from chalet. Went to sleep early at 930pm but was very unfortunately woken up by fiona xie's super te voice on tv. some travelling show where she goes around bothering some mainland chinese shopowners and stuff. ah well..
now i cant sleep. For more reasons than one. crap. so many worries on my mind. even school is not so stressful. sometimes even when you try your very best, things just don't seem to happen the way you think it should. not that i'm complaining, cos good things do happen to me, at quite a good regularity too. i'm just blogging out some pent up frustrations. today was a good example. i tried to organise a recce, but the relevant ppl (some of them at least) decided that their time was better spent sleeping, going out, not checking emails, not replying to smses/phone calls, etc.. just because it wasnt under their charge. i mean.. friends are friends yes.. but when work needs to be done, i expect full commitment from every single person. sigh. am i being too much of a slave driver? All i'm doing is trying my best to make things good for everyone.. oh well.
certain events that have transpired over the past few days have led me to seriously rethink my actions, especially towards others. as i get older, i find myself being less and less open about my true self, seeking ever more often to hide behind a facade of false words and actions. i dont like it. if this is part of growing up.. i want no part of it. all i ask for is to be able to see others as they really are, and to be towards them as i really am. is that so difficult? all i want is to sit under the cloudless sky, to feel to gentle caress of the breeze on my face, and bathe in the gentle warmth of the moonlight. All i want is to be able to count the stars, to hear the crickets sing, to feel the morning dew on my skin. all i want is to wake up to the glory of the morning sun, to touch the clouds as they whisper by, to watch the birds as they swoop around the endless sky. So free...
Give me a reason to live.
now i cant sleep. For more reasons than one. crap. so many worries on my mind. even school is not so stressful. sometimes even when you try your very best, things just don't seem to happen the way you think it should. not that i'm complaining, cos good things do happen to me, at quite a good regularity too. i'm just blogging out some pent up frustrations. today was a good example. i tried to organise a recce, but the relevant ppl (some of them at least) decided that their time was better spent sleeping, going out, not checking emails, not replying to smses/phone calls, etc.. just because it wasnt under their charge. i mean.. friends are friends yes.. but when work needs to be done, i expect full commitment from every single person. sigh. am i being too much of a slave driver? All i'm doing is trying my best to make things good for everyone.. oh well.
certain events that have transpired over the past few days have led me to seriously rethink my actions, especially towards others. as i get older, i find myself being less and less open about my true self, seeking ever more often to hide behind a facade of false words and actions. i dont like it. if this is part of growing up.. i want no part of it. all i ask for is to be able to see others as they really are, and to be towards them as i really am. is that so difficult? all i want is to sit under the cloudless sky, to feel to gentle caress of the breeze on my face, and bathe in the gentle warmth of the moonlight. All i want is to be able to count the stars, to hear the crickets sing, to feel the morning dew on my skin. all i want is to wake up to the glory of the morning sun, to touch the clouds as they whisper by, to watch the birds as they swoop around the endless sky. So free...
Give me a reason to live.
posted by eugene at
10:39 AM
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