Option A

Well.. i decided to be slightly more.. hmm how should i put it.. docile? passive? unselfish? hahah today and try Option A. The result was as predicted, harmony was the result. But it was bad for me. It was as if i tied up my own hands and jumped into a lava filled pit where the only way out was to climb. Hurting is bad enough, and not being able to do anything about it is worse, but the fact that it is self inflicted must make me the dumbest person on earth. Truly, this option defies logic, but its consequence only applies to me, as it brings greater good to my surroundings. It totally goes against the grain of my nature. Does it mean i'm naturally selfish? Yeah sure it does. I admit that freely and openly. But it is also due to my unquenchable need to fight for everything that means something to me. When i find something worth fighting for, i stick with it to the end, no matter the cost, and no matter what other people might say or think. Well.. perhaps i'm just an obstinate pig who lets passion cloud the truth. Hahaha..

In any case, I really don't know how long i can endure Option A. It was a choice I made once before, and man did i suffer for it. But this is where uncertainty steps in. Will history repeat itself? Or was that just due to circumstance?

But perhaps once again i have let passion cloud the truth and all this thought is for naught? The unpredictable world is such an interesting place! =)