When Hurt and Pain Collide

Total injuries: 6

Injury detail:

• Scraped knee X 1
• Bruised head X 1
• Aching shoulders X 2
• Back sprain X 1
• Stiff neck X 1

Man.. I think im getting old. Took part in the orientation yesterday and ended up not wanting to wake up today. And as a point of information, it is bloody difficult to perform experiments (what i do at work) with aching shoulders and a sprained back. The bruise i got on my head was the result of the dumbest thing i've done in my life. I was supposed to tumble out of a doorway as part of my ghost act, but i pulled my hood too low and thus i couldnt see shit. AND i charged HEADLONG INTO THE BLOODY DOOR! Not direct impact, in which case i would have ended up with a concussion and a night in A&E. Luckily it was a glancing header, well make that a diving glacing header to be exact.

Oh.. and as i promised.

An excerpt from "Howling, Wailing, Screaming and other associated arias"

When attempting your first wail (or scream or howl), remember to:

• Take a deep breath
• Picture in your mind'e eye how you would like your scream (or wail or howl) to turn out
• Open your epiglottis (flap of skin in throat to ensure maximum projection (its quite similar to the turbo system in cars)
• Scream (or howl or wail) as loud as you can

Once you have mastered the basics, refining the howl (or scream or wail) is the next step towards becoming an expert ghost. Tonal and facial control is the order of the day.

• A good scream (or wail or howl) is a single unbroken note (not like a yamseng, which is two notes)
• Empahsise the quality of the scream (or wail or howl) over quantity, meaning a good loud but not extended wail is preferred over an overextended one which would make you sound like an athsmatic ghost. An exception occurs if you have lungs like Celine Dion's, in which case please do go ahead.
• Your facial expression must reflect the essence of the scream (or wail or howl), meaning if you have any look other than that of a tortured soul, you are probably not trying hard enough.

And lastly, an effective scream (or wail or howl), won't be of much use if one is unable to mantain it for a suitably long period of time. It is recommended thus that one follows these tips:

• Drink sips of water after every 5 or so screams (or howls or wails)
• Do not drink TOO much water, as huanted houses are not known for their latrine facilities
• Pack a Mentos for effective throat relief

-end excerpt-